Mama A here this week making a guest appearance! An interesting thing happened this weekend and I wanted to take a few moments of your time to share.
This past Sunday Mama S and Little Lady attended a conference to help Little Lady think about and prepare for college. That left P and I home for a lazy Sunday morning. I was folding laundry and P was working on a PowerPoint presentation to teach the family about space (she loves space and we are a family of life long learners). She came into the room I was folding laundry and said that she thinks she was grumpy the week before and Saturday because she thinks she might have a crush on a girl in her class. Now I could have reacted in an array of different ways. What I chose to do in that moment was to give her my attention. I continued to fold laundry but I gave her space to talk or not talk. What I didn’t do was make a big deal out of anything. Let me repeat that. I didn’t make a big deal out of anything.
What does this all mean and why am I going on about it you may be asking. What this means is that Mama S and I are fostering a safe place for our two daughters to explore who they are as people. I didn’t freak out or start throwing labels around. In not making a mountain out of a mole hill I showed P that she can come to us with anything. This should be bolded and underlined. Mama S and I want our daughters to know that we are approachable. It is the little things and the way we react that build relationships with our girls.
Now, do I think that P will forever be attracted to the girls in her class? No. I don’t think that for even a minute. P struggles with making connections to her classmates and I think this girl may be one of few who are trying to connect with P and P may not understand those feelings at this time. She is a pre-teen who is trying to figure it all out. Even living in a home with two moms she still was nervous to talk to me about this. What else might our girls be nervous to bring up? We are very aware of the words we use in our home. In our home we say things like “the person you marry” instead of assuming husband. We encourage friendships with people who look different than our girls. We don’t overreact when our girls tell an alarming story of their past homes. That would only teach them they can’t bring certain things up to us.
What I am suggesting is we all try to be a little more understanding and open to our children. We all expect our children to grow up into these people we expect them to be but they are individuals with their own ideas and we need to let those ideas grow. We as parents have knee-jerk reactions and we need to remember that what happens today may not be tomorrow. We need to help our kiddos grow into themselves. Be open to the possibilities.