Good evening, family, friends, and readers. We disappeared. We folded into ourselves and our home due to stress and trauma taking over. I ended up having to take a break from work due to stress and our kiddos struggles were real. That is where we are. Foster care isn’t always sunshine and roses; in fact, it isn’t most days. Many days trauma jumps up and bites you in your places you were not paying attention to only to have you settle that down and have it jump up in a different place. You are not alone. We are not alone. Find your group. I am starting a support group in my local area. If there isn’t one where you are, start one! Drive to find one. Talk to your friends and family. If there isn’t a group for them, invite them to come to the greater Milwaukee area to my group for friends and family of foster parents.
Hello, Mama S here. Have you ever felt in your “zone”. The sky is brighter, the outlook is better, and you feel at one with the universe? Feels great, right? How often do you help your child feel that sense of zen with the universe? Continue reading “61. Finding your kid’s jam”
Hello, All! Mama S here. Thank you for coming along on our journey. Today I’m going to break down Mama A’s and my “level” as it relates to fostering. Before we get into what our level is, it is important to have an understanding of what all the levels are. Continue reading “60. The different “levels” of foster care- foster parents”
You may not know this, but we have gotten out of bed some days simply because of your support. We have gotten ready for the day with confidence that you helped us build. We have tackled emergency situation after emergency situation with a calmness that you helped us find. We snuggled our daughters a little harder because you reminded us of what trauma can do a brain. We welcomed in a sixteen-year-old daughter with no notice because you helped us see that our family was set up to be able to handle the additional challenges. We are about to adopt a teenager because you helped us see what our lives would be like with her as our forever daughter.
Mama A here this week making a guest appearance! An interesting thing happened this weekend and I wanted to take a few moments of your time to share.
This past Sunday Mama S and Little Lady attended a conference to help Little Lady think about and prepare for college. That left P and I home for a lazy Sunday morning. I was folding laundry and P was working on a PowerPoint presentation to teach the family about space (she loves space and we are a family of life long learners). She came into the room I was folding laundry and said that she thinks she was grumpy the week before and Saturday because she thinks she might have a crush on a girl in her class. Now I could have reacted in an array of different ways. What I chose to do in that moment was to give her my attention. I continued to fold laundry but I gave her space to talk or not talk. What I didn’t do was make a big deal out of anything. Let me repeat that. I didn’t make a big deal out of anything. Continue reading “57. Mama A talks about being open and ready for whatever the girls bring up to talk about”
Mama S here. I have seen an article being widely spread that speaks about how foster children shouldn’t be required to be grateful for everything the foster family does for them. That the foster family signs up for caring for kiddos from hard places and that they shouldn’t expect their foster kids to appreciate what they do for them. I’ve been sitting with that for a bit and I have to say that, while I partially agree, I also strongly disagree. Continue reading “56. Should we require appreciation from our kiddos?”
Good morning, Mama S here. There have been a lot of talks within our household of a dream I have that I am taking steps toward becoming a reality. As some of you may be aware, I read, watch, discuss everything I can come across that talks about parenting, successful parenting, children that grew up with trauma, etc. I have been taking in all this information and discussing it in therapy, at home, with other foster parents, and with our social workers. This has put an idea in my head that has been brewing for about a year now. Today is the day to put it out there and hold myself accountable. I am taking steps to become a Certified Parenting Coach and I will (eventually) also be studying to become certified in Trust Based Relational Intervention. Continue reading “55. The next frontier”
Hello! Mama S here. I have been sharing a lot of the “wins” of our fostering journey over the past bit and have gotten the idea that people think that our journey is one win after the other. While we celebrate the wins and put them out into the world- it is time to share some of the hard parts of being a foster parent. These are not specific to the kiddos we have at this moment, it encompasses all the kiddos we have had in our home and our fostering journey as a whole. So… what is the hardest part? It is so. darn. lonely. Continue reading “54. The hard parts of being a foster parent”
Hello, everyone! Mama S here. Our family is settling into a new normal and we are looking forward to 2019. In early 2019 we will be adopting our 16 year old and, in preparation of that, we have more paperwork to do. We were assigned an adoption worker and will be going through the home-study process in these next few months. Continue reading “53. Adoption Home-study”
Hello! Mama S here. In a little more than 5 months Mama A and I will legally be Moms to our beautiful teenage little lady! We never thought that we would be adopting a teenager, but we couldn’t imagine our future without her in it. Continue reading “52. Legally moms to a teenager!”
Mama S here. We have not been shy in our disclosure of our family attending multiple times a week therapy sessions. With all the years of trauma milling around our hallways it is imperative that Mama A and I have help and guidance in working with our littles to overcome their hard pasts. We have had fun therapy, hard- crying therapy, just chats therapy, and everything in between. Last night, and I can say this with the utmost confidence, was our best therapy session yet. Continue reading “51. Our most successful therapy session to date!”