Mama S here. I have seen an article being widely spread that speaks about how foster children shouldn’t be required to be grateful for everything the foster family does for them. That the foster family signs up for caring for kiddos from hard places and that they shouldn’t expect their foster kids to appreciate what they do for them. I’ve been sitting with that for a bit and I have to say that, while I partially agree, I also strongly disagree. Continue reading “56. Should we require appreciation from our kiddos?”
Good morning, Mama S here. There have been a lot of talks within our household of a dream I have that I am taking steps toward becoming a reality. As some of you may be aware, I read, watch, discuss everything I can come across that talks about parenting, successful parenting, children that grew up with trauma, etc. I have been taking in all this information and discussing it in therapy, at home, with other foster parents, and with our social workers. This has put an idea in my head that has been brewing for about a year now. Today is the day to put it out there and hold myself accountable. I am taking steps to become a Certified Parenting Coach and I will (eventually) also be studying to become certified in Trust Based Relational Intervention. Continue reading “55. The next frontier”
Hello! Mama S here. I have been sharing a lot of the “wins” of our fostering journey over the past bit and have gotten the idea that people think that our journey is one win after the other. While we celebrate the wins and put them out into the world- it is time to share some of the hard parts of being a foster parent. These are not specific to the kiddos we have at this moment, it encompasses all the kiddos we have had in our home and our fostering journey as a whole. So… what is the hardest part? It is so. darn. lonely. Continue reading “54. The hard parts of being a foster parent”
Hello, everyone! Mama S here. Our family is settling into a new normal and we are looking forward to 2019. In early 2019 we will be adopting our 16 year old and, in preparation of that, we have more paperwork to do. We were assigned an adoption worker and will be going through the home-study process in these next few months. Continue reading “53. Adoption Home-study”
Hello! Mama S here. In a little more than 5 months Mama A and I will legally be Moms to our beautiful teenage little lady! We never thought that we would be adopting a teenager, but we couldn’t imagine our future without her in it. Continue reading “52. Legally moms to a teenager!”
Mama S here. We have not been shy in our disclosure of our family attending multiple times a week therapy sessions. With all the years of trauma milling around our hallways it is imperative that Mama A and I have help and guidance in working with our littles to overcome their hard pasts. We have had fun therapy, hard- crying therapy, just chats therapy, and everything in between. Last night, and I can say this with the utmost confidence, was our best therapy session yet. Continue reading “51. Our most successful therapy session to date!”
Mama S here. Today was a day that started like no other. That simple line makes me laugh as we start each day with my singing up to the girls the song by Phil Joel:
Today, it could not have been more true.
Hello, Mama S here. So much to say, so little time in the day! Within the past few weeks our family has grown from three to four. Little Lady, who you may recognize as the teenager that has stayed with us from time to time over the past few years has come to live with us. We are both beyond excited, and exceptionally devastated.
Mama S here. A few weeks ago I got home and furiously disassembled our bedroom. Why? Trauma. Our little has struggled with sleep, her bedroom, nighttime since she moved in. We have tried many different solutions over the past 15 months to help settle her mind in those precious moments when she should be sleeping. A few weeks ago we had enough. We moved our bed to the same level as hers.
Mama S here. As parents to a kiddo that struggles with self-regulation and self-soothing we turned to meditation and mindful reflection early on in P being placed with us. We did not know where to start or what to do but we knew that something had to happen or we were facing explosion after explosion of frustration and rage. Cue to the most wonderful quote from the Dalai Lama:
Continue reading “47. Guided Meditation”
Mama S here. As a Foster Parent Champion I am often reaching out and chatting with people who are interested in becoming foster parents as well as catching up with current foster parents. The biggest topic of conversation that existing foster parents bring up/chat about and what I bring up with prospective foster parents is that the general public has no idea what it is like to be a foster parent. They can’t. But they all think they do.
Mama S here. Yesterday was a day like any other. I was at work and had a bunch of meetings where I can walk attorneys through a piece of software they don’t want and has less information than the one we are replacing. I got to work and looked at my calendar and saw a name that gave me a shudder. For 3 weeks I have been told many things about this person. They are grumpy, they nitpick everything, that if they say something positive is the time to worry, etc. I told someone I had a call with her that day and they cringed and said they were sorry to push them off on me. I took a deep breath and walked back to my office in dread. I picked up the phone, dialed into the conference line and decided I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt.