Good evening, family, friends, and readers. We disappeared. We folded into ourselves and our home due to stress and trauma taking over. I ended up having to take a break from work due to stress and our kiddos struggles were real. That is where we are. Foster care isn’t always sunshine and roses; in fact, it isn’t most days. Many days trauma jumps up and bites you in your places you were not paying attention to only to have you settle that down and have it jump up in a different place. You are not alone. We are not alone. Find your group. I am starting a support group in my local area. If there isn’t one where you are, start one! Drive to find one. Talk to your friends and family. If there isn’t a group for them, invite them to come to the greater Milwaukee area to my group for friends and family of foster parents.
“Why are you hitting yourself?” I’ve found myself asking this question out loud and following it up with an empathetic look and a “It’s OK if you are having big feelings. Big hugs to help you feel better.” We have had the privilege/ sadness to see first hand what childhood trauma does to developing brains. It changes these kiddos in big ways that are hard to understand. I have found myself reading everything I can get my hands on to help me understand what is happening to this little man we have in our care. I was reading on the www.ntscm.org page and this quote explained things clearly:
28 bruises. It took 28 bruises on Sarah’s legs within 7 days to admit that we were not the family for these boys. This was the easiest and hardest decision we have ever had to make.
Sarah here, Hello everyone! We can officially say we are moms. Wow, that is crazy! It has been about 5 and a half months we have been on this journey and the day has come! We got the call at about 1:30pm on Tuesday 5/10. There are two boys that need a loving home. Are we open. We talked about the situation that brought them into care (well, what the told us at least) as well as what they knew about the kiddos. We decided to say yes. They were dropped off by 3:30pm!
Meet our new family. Little M and Little V. Little M is four and a half and little V is 18 months.
What happens when kiddos come into care? How many people come into their lives at once? What questions are asked when reporting suspected abuse/neglect? This post addresses those questions and more!Continue reading
Good morning! Sarah here. We got THE call last night. It was about 8:00pm and we were resting on the couch when my phone rang. We didn’t think much of it, as it’s been 3 weeks since approval and no call. Imagine our surprise when the person on the other end of the line identified themselves as a calling with our agency! Cue the panic.
She was calling with placement of 2 children ages one and three. They were from a sibling set of four but were being split up. Did we want her to continue telling us about the children? Well… I looked at Alex with panic in my eyes and asked her if we would be interested in taking a sibling set. We had talked about it as a possibility, but now it was a reality!
Hello, Sarah here. This is one of the most personal posts that will be shared, please bear with my sensitive emotions. This foster to adopt process has brought out some of the best and some of the most ignorant in people. This post is here to shed some light into why it’s not OK to ask every question that comes to your mind without thinking about how it may impact others around you…
People love asking about the foster to adopt process. “Where are you at in the process?” “What is the age range you are looking to take placement of?” “What did you have to go through to get approved?” “Didn’t you want to have your OWN kids?” Hold up on the last one! You just touched on a very sensitive topic. My fertility and what I want to do with it is none of your business. Most days I’m too sensitive to tell you to mind your own damn business. Today, I’m going to tell you why.Continue reading
Hey there! Sarah here. WE ARE APPROVED! We got the email from our licensing worker last night as we were sitting down for dinner with a dear friend of ours. We couldn’t be more excited. Now we just have to meet up with our licensing worker to get copies of our license and get a few more resources that are available to us as foster parents. Well, that and wait for THE call. We are open to being called 24/7 for placement so it could be any point.
Alex here! As Sarah and I continue to play the waiting game (currently waiting to hear back to see if we have been officially licensed) I thought I would give you the last piece to the pre-screen puzzle. Classes. There are nine hours of pre-screening classes we had to take. Those nine hours were broken up into 3 three-hour classes.